Making decisions can be a tough endeavour. Whether the choice is between two or more good things, or scenarios that aren’t particularly enticing, making a choice based on both heart and head is not always easy.
I recently had to make a tough choice and for days went back and forth between two options.
It seemed as if there was no one ‘right’ choice but still a choice needed to be made.
Choosing one would mean saying no to the other option and vice versa. Nerve wrecking …
Enable making decisions by changing your viewpoint
Since I felt trapped in a continuously changing ‘decision’, I changed my viewpoint.
I decided there was a third option: not choosing either one of the two options. As paradoxical as this may sound, it helped me to reach a decision finally.
I think the psychology behind this (but please comment below when you think I’m wrong) works something like this:
- limiting your options sets a scarcity thinking in motion, and scarcity sparks fear
- fear is not a good state of mind for thorough decisionmaking – it is only good in situations that require either a fight or a flight response
- limiting yourself in this way disconnects you from a bigger picture and creates a feeling you can either make a right or a wrong decision
When fear or stress is keeping you from thinking clear and reaching a decision, you may want to consider taking a turn.
Reconsider your priorities to reach a decision
Let’s suppose the decision you need to make is between two jobs. One pays much better but you feel ‘mwah’ about it. The other you like better but it pays less.
Now when you want to live in a big house, own a fancy car or go on a holiday two times a year, the first option is really the ‘best’ option.
Easy decision? Not when you really don’t feel like choosing the first option. It isn’t a decision really when there is no other way but to accept something that you rather wouldn’t.
By reconsidering if you really need all sorts of material goods, you can free yourself from having to ‘choose’ something with your head that your heart isn’t jumping for.
The real decision making is in choosing what’s right for you. It’s about figuring out what it is that you truly want from life, and from there moving toward your way of living and developing relationships that are right for you.
For more tips on increasing a feeling of freedom, read this article here on Enough is More.
Create time to let things sink in and set a deadline
Always be sure to take at least one night to let things sink in before taking a decision. Also be sure to set a deadline, a time when you will have reached a decision (even though at this point you fear you may not be able to).
The reason why a deadline is important is because it forces you to think and feel about how life will be after you choose one or the other.
And even when you are already absolutely positive you want to choose A, still give yourself some time to think about things.
By creating time for this, you allow yourself to remember important things that you might have forgotten. And you allow yourself to ‘make it real’ and visualise what life will look like after you choose A, B or C.
When you feel you don’t have time for this then read 10 time management tips that give you back your life for inspiration on creating some time for this important step in making decision.
Make a decision by remembering your first feeling
When making a decision still appears to be impossible, try to remember the first feeling you had.
What was your impression when you first saw a picture of a person or met them in person? What did your gut feeling tell you when you first set foot in an office, apartment or city?
I strongly believe that there is a moment that only lasts microseconds in which intuition tells you everything you need to know, if only you are willing to be(come) aware of it.
How about you? How do you go about in making decisions? Would love to read more on this in comments below!